I May Hate Myself in the Morning
by Kiss-This2010
Summary: Oneshot, songfic From the woman's POV, two canon characters come together to remember the good times. She might hate herself in the morning, but she's going to love him tonight.


_Ain't it just like one of us  
To pick up the phone and call after a couple drinks  
Say how ya been I've been wondering if maybe you've been thinking 'bout me  
And somewhere in the conversation  
An ole familiar invitation always arrives  
I may hate myself in the morning  
But I'm gonna love you tonight _

I wondered down the empty hall as I made my way to his room. He had mentioned he wanted to see me after dinner so here I was making my way to him. I knew what he wanted and it had nothing to do with business; I had made up my mind to go, no matter how much I would hate myself tomorrow. I entered the room and saw him in a chair in the corner sitting next to a table with wine and two glasses. No words had to be said; we knew each other to well. A simple kiss broke our silence. He poured the red liquid into the glass and handed it to me. We drank to tonight. With a click of a wand, the lights dimmed and a slow tune sent us back in time to when this was right. I have never loved another man the way I love him and I have never hated another man the way I hate the way I have to have him. I am addicted, entranced, but it is not true love. It is lust.

_Everyone's known someone that they just can't help but want  
Even though we just can't make it work out  
Well the want to lingers on  
So once again we wind up in each other's arms pretending that it's right  
I may hate myself in the morning  
But I'm gonna love you tonight _

Years ago we tried to get married, but before the date even came we knew it would never work. He was to busy and I was too head strong. We couldn't agree on anything but the need for love. I needed him to hold and he needed someone to come to when things got to hard. With our jobs and our responsibilities, we could only see pain in the road ahead. It was just easier to seperate. After the split we agreed never to talk about "us" again and just live life. It was almost a year later that he came to me in need. I, couldn't think of anything else to do but for fill it. After that night, we tried to keep apart, but it was in vain. Then on that October night, the Potters' were murdered, Harry was sent to his aunt and unlces', and Lord Voldemort disapeared, I could tell what he wanted when he stopped by to "celebrate". Just months ago I was the one with a need to be held. The world was to overwhelming for one person alone. Sometimes you just need two to get through. And here we are again in each others arms, forgetting about the world.

_ I know it's wrong  
But it ain't easy moving on  
So why can't two friends  
Remember the good times once again _

We both know it's wrong to hold on like this. I should move on and maybe he would too. We could just be friends, like we appear to be, but here we are in this bed using the love we once had to make it through the night. He is charming and intelligent; every witch's dream. He could get any woman to love him on nights like these, but he still chooses me. Sure, I have tried to find a man to suit me, but good wizards like him are just so hard to come by. Now after years of knowing it could never be, we come again to this room and try to find that lost love; to remember the good times. We are half friends, half lovers. I try to tell myself that good friends can be lovers every once in a while. Maybe I can fool myself with my lying; it hasn't worked so far. His tender kiss and strong arms are just more than I can bear, so I fall into him and let him take me as his own.

_Tomorrow when I wake up I'll be feeling a little guilty, a little sad  
Thinking how it used to be before everything went bad  
I guess that's what is  
In lonely late night calls like this that we try to find  
I may hate myself in the morning but I'm gonna love you tonight _

Tomorrow I will leave before the sun seeps into the room. No one needs to know of tonight. I will spend all day covering up my thoughts and emotions. No one can see the real me. Every time I see him I will feel guilty, but no one can know so, I must pretend nothing is wrong. Then there is the tinge of remorse and regret that the love we had stopped. I will smile and move on and live each day waiting for another call.

_I may hate myself in the morning but I'm gonna love you tonight. _

It is good to back in his arms. To feel his lips against mine, to feel the warmth of his skin. Someone help me, I am only fooling myself. Yes, I will hate myself in the morning, but I'm gonna love him tonight. Goodnight.

**A/N: **The song (in italics) is called _I May Hate Myself In the Morning _by Lee Ann Womack. This started out as just a story but became more and more of MM/AD relationship. I don't own anything that belongs to the Harry Potter world!


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